Tag Archives: wedding

Flashback Friday: Six Months Ago Today

Some wedding shots

I never tire of looking through our wedding pictures. They are perfect reflections of the immense amounts of joy and love we were feeling that day.

Six months ago I married the kindest, strongest, most generous man I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. And I am so blessed, and so honored, to call him “husband.”

An excerpt of the vows I gave Mr. B that day:

I wasn’t expecting you. I couldn’t possibly have planned for you. If I were writing this love story, I probably couldn’t have written you. But you have been the most welcome blessing and gift of chance that I have ever received ….

You have come into my life and helped me write a happily ever after that I didn’t know could exist …

I fell in love with your gentleness, your kindness. And with those warm, welcoming arms of yours that have come to mean home …. Bobby, where I am weak you are strong. And when I struggle to be the person I want to be, you hold me up ….

I look forward to living many more adventures for many, many years to come with my partner, my best friend and the love of my life by my side. I can’t promise it’s always going to be fun. I can’t promise it’s always going to be easy. But I can promise that there will always be love. And gummy bears ….

You know that I’m a little obsessive when it comes to planning and looking at all the “what ifs” before moving forward. But with you? To quote myself the day after I met you, “ … all I want to do is jump and dance and dive right in.” I can’t wait to jump and dance and dive with you. (Mr. B), I am so glad it’s you. I love you. So big.

My love for this man grows bigger, deeper, stronger every day. I’m so lucky — and so very happy — that he is my partner in life. For always. And forever.

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On Weddings and Marathons

In the last year, I’ve done some pretty cool things. Among them? Running a marathon and marrying Mr. B.

running a marathon

spinning in the road

As I sit here reflecting on these two things, I’m struck by how similar they are.

  1. Whether wedding planning or marathon training, you have a one-track mind. In the months leading up to either of these events, they’re all you can think about, stressing about the what ifs and maybes, the do’s and the don’ts. “Am I doing it right?” “Am I doing it wrong?” “Why does it feel like this?” “WHY DON’T THE BOOKS TELL YOU ABOUT THIS PART?!”
  2. And, while some people pretend better than others, no one else cares about it as much as you do. Trust me, those smiles and nods? Just that. Inside, your friends and family are hearing “yadda yadda blah yadda blah blah boring.”
  3. Your bowels and your bladder have never been of bigger concern: Do I pee now? Or do I wait? Do I even have time to pee? Oh, crap, I have to poo!
  4. Obsessing over bras. Enough said.
  5. The signs are THE BEST ever.
    marathon sign
    bride sign
  6. Obsessing over shoes. What’ll be the most comfortable — but, also, look cute in pictures? Because, really, it’s all about the pictures.
  7. You can always count on your partner and your parents.
    parents, me and mr. b
    parents, me and mr. b wedding
  8. You’ve never felt more nervous about a day arriving.
  9. You’ve never been more excited to see a day arrive.
  10. You’ve never been so glad a day has ended.
  11. Worrying about chafing — yes, it’s important in both instances. This is particularly important if you have loose skin in all the places.
  12. You’ve never felt more exhausted: Physically, emotionally, mentally.
  13. You spend a lot of money. A lot more than you could have imagined. And, you kinda don’t care.
  14. You have a countdown clock. Which both excites you and scares you as you watch it tick down to The Big Day.
  15. You cry tears. Of every kind.
    hugging and crying
    me and rosebud
  16. You will discover how unbelievably important your support team is. You can’t do it without them. They dry your tears, nurse your hurts and give all the hugs. They’re also the very best at smiling and nodding.
  17. You’re constantly wondering when life will return to normal, when you’ll get your weekends back.
  18. Other things in your life take a backseat. Like cleaning. And cooking. And reading for fun. And (oops) blogging.
  19. Some people will understand. Some people won’t. But it’s not about them, it’s not their life. So, it’s OK if they don’t “get” it. No sense taking it personally.
  20. You walk away saying “I am NEVER doing that again.” But, really, you wouldn’t trade a single second of it. And you’ve never been happier.
  21. After months and months of planning and preparation, it all goes by in a flash. But you’ll always have the pictures. And the metal/medal.

marathon medal

wedding bands

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A Look Back

On my run tonight, I was partially distracted. With thoughts of weddings and babies (not yet, though), family and friends. And then my thoughts drifted to our love story — how it came to be, how it continues to unfold. And I was led to revisit some of those early memories of this relationship that has forever changed my life — in the best way possible.

I keep a separate, private blog where I write more personal posts for myself. In it, there are years and years of history. Of love and a broken heart. Of happiness and sadness. But, most importantly, it is home to the chronicle of my relationship with Mr. B — and all of the thoughts (overthinking) that went along with it in the early days.

Mr. B and Me

One of our first pictures together … he told me he didn’t like to have his picture taken. Funny, I couldn’t get him to stop smiling for the camera.

When I looked back over some of those posts today, I find it very obvious that this love was the one my life was meant to have. Take these posts from Sept. 25 last year (the day after I met Mr. B):

  • I just want to stay in bed all day, knowing that (most likely) nothing that happens today can top yesterday.
  • It Is a lot easier to open your heart to new, exciting adventures when it’s not full of resent and sadness. Learning how to forgive and move on is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
  • Today makes me grin. Ear. To. Ear.
  • Sometimes things happen that are so good I don’t talk about them. I just want to keep the goodness to myself.

And then there was the post that I wrote as I was sitting in the airport, on my way to London for a week, shortly after meeting Mr. B:

  • In the span of one week, I had two first dates. One was, meh. One has turned into something that feels almost magical. I almost don’t recognize myself — skipping and humming and daydreaming.
  • My stomach hurts all the time, like I just want to throw up — are these the “butterflies”?
  • With about 300 emails back and forth and countless hours on the phone and texting, I know more about this man in the span of three weeks than the one I dated for three years and shared a home with.
  • I’m a planner, a list-maker, a look-before-you-leaper, and all I want to do is jump and dance and dive right in.
  • This trip to London, this one-week hiatus from this whirlwind experience is both sad and welcome. I’ll miss the morning phone calls and the last “good nights” but I think the space, the time to think will be good.
  • Is it possible to like someone this much so soon? Is this kind of a connection real, or is it going to fade faster than a firefly? Does it matter? Why can’t I just enjoy the ride while it lasts — no matter how long that will be?

And then there was the post I wrote on Oct. 10 — the first time Mr. B made his appearance on my blog.

After years of wishing my life could be better, I found myself wonderfully content exactly where I was — blessed anew every morning I woke up, able to have another day.

And then something happened that knocked me off my feet. Something that stopped my life and completely changed the game. I met Mr. B. Funny how when you truly care for yourself, you open yourself up to be cared for by someone else. Not because you need it but because you are worth it.

I truly believe that when you send love out into the world, it’s returned to you — 5-, 10-, 15-fold. Now, I’ve given my fair share of love into the world. But this? It certainly feels like more than my 15-fold.

So here I sit, just a month after meeting the person I never knew I should be looking for, wondering how it all happened. Life is moving fast — spinning and turning and sweeping me up. This list-maker, spreadsheet-lover, day-planner-adorer is finding herself lost in the moment. She’s trying hard to stay out of her head and live life as it comes. It’s throwing her off balance and taking her outside of her comfort zone. But you know what? It’s the best feeling in the world.

It’s funny. Mr. B still makes my heart skip a beat when I see him after a long week apart, the world spinning under my feet until he sweeps me up in his arms in that first “welcome home” hug.

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The Name Game

I have never wanted to change my last name. Born a Warren, always a Warren. And I wear the name with pride. It’s my family’s history, and our roots run deep. I’ve always loved that I can walk into a farm show anywhere in the Midwest and hear someone say, “You’re a Warren, aren’t you?” And it is with pride and a true sense of honor that I say, “Yes, yes I am.”

And I’ve always been pretty certain in one thing: I would not change my name when I got married. Whomever I married would become my partner, and we would create a life together — but I wanted to hold on to that connection to who I’ve always been. My name was a major plot element in my story.

The naming of kids never really came into play because, quite honestly, at that point, I’d had my fill of kids. I grew up in a daycare home, and was an aunt by the time I was 10. And now I have 13 nieces and nephews and one great-nephew. For a 31-year-old, that’s a lot. And it kinda kidded me out.

But then something changed.

I started thinking about having kids. One day. Some day. Because, who was I kidding?, I love kids way too much. They make life … well … better. Even on their worst days.

And then, I met a man I couldn’t think of spending my life without. And I wanted to make a family with him, to build a life with him. To share something with him that I’d never shared with anyone before.  And I wanted to write a new story with him, as Mr. and Mrs. B.

Decisions, Decisions

Deciding to change my name wasn’t an easy decision. And it most certainly wasn’t one I took lightly. I mean, not only is it how I’ve defined myself for 31 years, it’s a lot of paperwork. (And I have so much beautiful “W” stationery that soon will have no home in my stationery box.) Quite honestly, it shocked me when I realized that the pro list of changing my name heavily outweighed the con list. Admittedly, I’d be lying if I said that moving way up in the alphabet wasn’t a factor in the decision.

One of the biggest items on that list, though? I want to share the same name as my children and my husband. And, truth be told, hyphenated names have always sorta stressed me out. For no specific reason. Other than I’m weird.

And giving up my middle name and making my maiden name my new middle name? Out of the question. Because when my parents chose my middle name, they made magic happen.

Let me assure you, I am making this decision to change my name all by myself. This decision is mine and mine alone. There is no pressure from Mr. B — if there were, we probably wouldn’t be together anyway. I know what he would prefer, and I know what I think about the situation. And what I’ve decided doesn’t make him love me any less. To be sure, whether I change my name or keep it the same has no bearing on how “equal” my relationship is with Mr. B. And it won’t make me any less of a woman or daughter or wife or mother or sister or friend or human or feminist.

Changes

Someone asked me if I see myself changing who I am as I enter this new chapter of my life’s story, as I become Mrs. B. And, to be honest, I do. I see myself becoming someone new. Because every single day I am becoming someone new. And every single chapter of my life is being written as I live it, to make a whole, complete human story. I should be changed by my experiences — we ALL should be. My past, my present, my future are all part of me and of who I am, who I will be. And the person I am today is different from the person I will be tomorrow. No, my core beliefs and values won’t change; the essence of who I am won’t change.

The same is true for Mr. B. Just because he’s not changing his name doesn’t mean he’s not going to change. Because we both are; we’re both going to change as our lives change together. And we’re committed to growing and to changing together.

Just as I will become a wife, a partner and (hopefully) a mother, Mr. B will be becoming a husband, a partner and (hopefully) a father. And we’ll do that whether I’m Mrs. B or Ms. W.

What’s In A Name?

Am I sad that I will no longer carry my family’s surname? I am. But I am so very happy about the beauty of carrying all that my family has given me into the new arm of my family I will build with Mr. B.

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
~”Romeo and Juliet”

Changing my name doesn’t make me any less a Warren, just as not carrying my mother’s maiden name doesn’t make me any less a Wilson. And changing my last name doesn’t strip me of the eyelashes that I inherited from my dad or change the way my squinkle nose makes me look just like my mom. It doesn’t change the way my brothers will always be able to make me laugh or how my sisters will always be my best friends. It doesn’t make me any less proud of my nieces and nephews when they prove what kind, caring and beautiful human beings they are becoming.

My name is part of me, sure. But it doesn’t define me or who my family is. Because, as I said: Once a Warren, always a Warren.

My Family

My life is overflowing with love and family, and changing my name — or not — changes none of it.

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I Have News!

OK, so I’ve been gone for a while. It’s because something big, something truly magical has happened in my life.

the proposal

Mr. B asked me to be his wife. I, of course, said yes!

I intend to blog about our engagement and wedding planning, but I don’t want to change the focus of this blog from  healthy living. Yes, there will be some overlapping. But, for the most part, I will be keeping this blog separate from the wedding planning.

If you’re interested in our engagement and wedding planning, please come share our journey with us. We’d love to hear from you, too. Share your experiences, advice — we’ve never planned a wedding before, so we’d love some insight from those who’ve done it (either for their actual weddings or their dream weddings).

Photo by Robb Quinn Imaging

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