Tag Archives: grace

It Takes a Village

I had the joy of talking with my friend Bri Luginbill today for her Compassionately Yours podcast, which focuses on self love, compassion and body image. When she first reached out to me to be on the podcast, my initial response was a little hesitant.

Why in the world would she want me to talk about body image self compassion. So many times I’m hard on myself and feel at my weakest — mentally and physically. I am a work in progress. 

But I decided to do it — to share my weaknesses, my struggles, as well as the things I’ve learned about being hard on ourselves and giving ourselves the same grace we’d give to others.

I think that’s one of the things that’s hardest for me — showing myself the same flexibility, compassion and grace that I give to other people. I feel like all the advice I’d offer someone else about giving themselves room to be human is advice I should really give myself in the mirror every single day.

Another bit of advice I need someone to send back to me is that I need to learn to let people in. Ask one of my closest friends, and she’ll tell you that it’s hard to get me to open up about certain things — and she’s known me for almost 15 years. This fact may be hard to believe since I share so much of myself on this blog, but I promise you there is a lot beneath the surface. I hold some of my stuff close.

And talking with Bri during the podcast and after, it made me think a bit. It helped me realize something that’s not all that shocking or surprising: we need our “people.” People who get “it” and who get us. Whether it’s through shared experiences or shared history, we need people around us. I need people in my village, even if I’m more comfortable spending my free time in a quiet corner with my nose in a book.

As I sit writing this post while Dorothy is in ballet class, I’m feeling contemplative and thinking about ways to build my village, to build my family’s village. Sometimes when I’m writing, I’ve been known to look at the wall for a bit while the thoughts find their way to my fingertips. When I looked up a bit ago, I saw a picture that makes me think the universe is trying to tell me something.

PicsArt_09-19-06.25.40

Isn’t that always the way with the universe?

Bri and I talked about so much during the podcast and after that has made me think — and rethink. It’s so nice chatting with another mom who’s going through many of the same things I am and who knows my story.

I won’t go into detail about what else Bri and I talked about — because I want to save that for you to hear when the podcast airs. But I will say this: after the podcast, I kept thinking about all sorts of additional things I wanted to share. That means I’ll have to share those thoughts in a post after the podcast comes out — a sort of addendum, I suppose. Stay tuned.

And, in the meantime, I urge you to check out what Bri’s doing. It’s pretty great.

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A New Year’s Reminder

I started this blog as a health and fitness blog. And it’s grown into so much more than that. My life has become so much more than that. I started this blog:

  • to share my story
  • to be motivated and inspired
  • to be reminded of all the good there is in the world (you all are amazingly kind people)

But, around the end of the year and into the new year — every year — it happens: health and fitness bloggers put on their judg-y pants. You know, the pants that make them the kings and queens of the gym. They are the people who complain about all of the “new year’s resolutioners.”

I get it: it’s annoying when the gym fills up and it’s hard to get to your favorite machine. Maybe there’s no parking. Maybe someone took your favorite locker. Maybe someone doesn’t know how to do something, and she’s “in your way.”

But, here’s the thing: all of us started somewhere — maybe two or three or 16 times. Maybe this year really is the year those people are going to turn their resolutions into habits into dreams. Maybe it isn’t. But, who are you we to say?

I think this year it’s bothering me more than other years. Because, to most, I look like a new year’s resolutioner. I’m getting back into my routine after six months of off-and-on consistency. Because I was pregnant with a high-risk baby. And I had to cut back my workouts significantly. And then, my baby died. And I couldn’t face the gym for a while. Because being there tore open some wounds that I was working really hard to heal.

Maybe it’s bothering me more because I’m trying to live life with more grace, compassion and understanding.

Either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are all better than that. Before you put on your judg-y pants, remember that maybe the person annoying you on Jan. 1 is terrified of being there — and they just need one tiny excuse to leave. That tiny excuse could be that side-eye you give them. Or, maybe they just lost their baby and their heart is heavy. And the one place that had been “safe” for so long was finally starting to feel like home again.

This new year, as you head to the gym for your regularly scheduled workouts, remember: it’s amazing the difference a nod and a smile will make.

Also, I know I owe you all a huge catch-up post. I’m working on it. But I have to wrap up one very special project first. Regular posting will resume in a couple of weeks. Thank you all for sticking around while I work through all that’s been happening in my life.

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