Surprised to see me?
You’re probably noticed that I’ve not been writing a lot about health and fitness in depth lately. Or, maybe you haven’t because you’ve stopped reading what I write because it’s not health and fitness related. Regardless, it’s true.
I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve been living and loving life. I’ve been running and lifting weights and eating good foods. I’ve been meeting with T2.5 and giving it all I’ve got. I’ve been spending time with Mr. B and going on new adventures with him. I’ve been — mostly — happy with the way my life is turning out.
I’ve been getting by. But, truth be told, I’m feeling a bit “meh” in the health and fitness department. I’m not getting lazy — I run, lift and do fun, active things with Mr. B. And I enjoy it when I’m doing it.
Rather, I’m getting … what’s the right word? … stale, maybe?
For the most part, I believe we are fully responsible for our situation. At least, I know with 100 percent certainty that I am responsible for the person I’m letting myself become.
In the grand scheme of life, all of the things you’re about to read are miniscule. But here’s what it all comes down to: I’m struggling. (Holy crap is that hard for me to write!)
But I don’t have to sit here, resting on my laurels, waiting for things to miraculously get better.
I believe that the only way to take care of problems is to first acknowledge their existence. Then, take ownership of them. And, finally, move past them.
Disclaimer 1: I am overall a happy, healthy person. I love my life and recognize every single blessing I have been given. I wouldn’t change one second of my life for anyone else’s life. Ever.
Disclaimer 2: I take full ownership of these issues. They are mine and mine alone — no one is responsible for them, and I don’t blame any person (or situation) for them. But I can’t move past them if I don’t acknowledge them and own them. And the only way that works for me is to write them down.
As life has continued in a new direction on a new path, there are some things I’m not making time for or making an effort at like I used to, things I’m starting to miss:
- Monday morning runs — My favorite run of the week, they get things started on the right foot. But they haven’t happened for several reasons for quite some time.
- Weekly farmers’ market trips — I love stocking up on my favorite local produce and discovering new things I’ve never tried before.
- Grocery shopping — Mainly, I like coming home and opening up my fridge knowing that I’ll find in it all of the ingredients I need to create a healthful, tasty dinner without having to go back to the store.
- Cooking — Nothing says “I love you” — to someone else or to yourself — like starting with a pile of healthful ingredients and creating something new, delicious and colorful with them.
- Confidence — Confidence is more than feeling good. It’s knowing that you really are good. And while I know that deep down (I promise I do), lately it’s hard to let it show on the surface.
- Getting better — I’m a goal-oriented girl. I like working toward something and seeing myself get better. Lately, everything’s at a standstill: I’m maintaining my weight, my strength, my speed.
- Feeling strong — One of my favorite things about taking care of myself and treating myself right? That strength I feel when I’m doing it all right. It’s not about how much weight I can lift or how far I can run, though. It’s about so much more than that.
- Writing — It’s as much a part of me as my nose. Or my fingers. Or my beating heart. And I don’t do it nearly enough.
- Being in control of my own situation — I like to be in control; I like to have control. I admit it. I own it. Now, though? There are a lot of things happening that are out of my own control.
- Sleep — I’m a firm believer in sleep as one of the most important aspects of leading a healthy, fit and happy life. But I can’t remember the last time I had a full, restful seven or eight hours of sleep.
- Optimism — While I’m not an optimistic person by birth, I’ve slowly learned how to be that person over the last couple of years. It truly is a better way to live.
- Me — I have grown so fond of the confident, happy and healthy person I’ve become. She’s beautiful. And she makes other people smile. But it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen her in the mirror.
So, now that those things are out there, what I can do about them? Because, really, they are all within my power. Here’s how I can get over the hump and back to the person I miss so much:
- Monday morning runs — Get up. Get out there. And run. It starts next Monday — regardless of where I am or what I’m doing. Monday morning runs will return to my life. (Even if they’re only a mile or two.) And I bet my Monday morning smile returns with them.
- Weekly farmers’ market trips — Make time for it. It takes all of an hour to go to the farmers’ market and buy delicious goodness. And Mr. B and I can do it together; we did it once, and it was quite lovely. Plus, it’s a grand experience, trying new things together — and there are lots of new things to discover together at the farmers’ market.
- Grocery shopping — I don’t remember the last time I went to the grocery store with a full list to stock up for the week. I just need to make a date of it. Just as I block off time for the gym and work and Mr. B and friends, I’m going to need to block off an hour of time to go grocery shopping.
- Cooking — Just do it. Cooking is fun! I deserve to have healthful, filling meals when it’s just me — or when I’m joined by Mr. B. Plus, it’s a great way to spend time trying new things with Mr. B. Just because we’re busy doesn’t mean we can’t cook for ourselves — or for each other.
- Confidence — This one’s hard. How does one go about letting her confidence show? It starts in the mind with positive thoughts. And, yeah, morning mirror affirmations may start up again — don’t judge until you try it for yourselves.
- Getting better — The only way to get better is to put in the work. I need to get out of my comfort zone.
- Feeling strong — Part of this will come with “confidence” and “getting better.” But part of it will come with me getting out of my head. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. It’s time to just accept that fact and get over myself.
- Writing — I will write. Thirty minutes every weekday (concurrently or not). And at least an hour on the weekend — concurrently. I miss it far too much. I need it far too much.
- Being in control of my own situation — Get over it. Control what I can. Let go of what I can’t. That’s where trust and faith come in. It’s called life.
- Sleep — Get to bed. Turn out the lights. Sleep. While sometimes my inability to sleep is out of my control, most of the time it isn’t. I just have to get to bed and let myself sleep. What’s left to be done at the end of the night can be done in the morning.
- Optimism — I have it pretty good; my life is good. And everything always works out exactly as it should. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of this fact. So remind myself I will.
- Me — She will return. In all of her freckle-faced glory. She just needs to find her way. All of the things above? They’ll lead her home. Because, you see, I’m stronger than the bullets on this list.
Sometimes life isn’t easy, sometimes it takes work. Sometimes life isn’t what you had worked out in your trusty little planner. Sometimes life doesn’t head the direction you wish it would; that’s what makes it interesting. Sometimes we have to move and change and bend; that’s what makes us interesting.
“Life is a gift that I never want to take for granted.” ~Me