Knowing Love When I See It

I had a very different post planned than this one. It goes something like this:

There’s something happening in my life right now. And it’s pretty big. I’m at the point where I am living and loving life. And my pure joy and happiness is shining through. Lately, it is in my most candid photos, my silliest moment, where I am seeing what “healthy” truly looks like, what “happy” really is.

Me laughing

Enjoying the company of family. And a margarita.

me and a fish

Checking out one of the fish of our labor.

Some people may not think these are the best photos of me, but in them I see a happy, healthy woman who wasn’t concerned about sucking in her gut or posing with her “good side” forward. She simply lives.

But then something happened that had me feeling a lot of feelings. Feelings I’m not exactly proud of. And feelings that are so very not me. And I’m a little mad at myself for something I did last night — something that even made Mr. B give me a few moments of (well-deserved) silent treatment.

me and Mr. B by the bay

A moment in time, captured by a dear friend.

 

My friend — a friend I’m lucky to have gotten to know through Mr. B — posted the above photo after our weekend together up north. It’s a really lovely picture that captures a really lovely moment between Mr. B and me.

But instead of seeing the picture for what it is, I only saw this:

calling out my own weaknesses

Instead of seeing the love, I saw the loose skin and back fat.

When I looked at it again this morning, I’m reminded that in the morning light, with a different attitude, everything looks different. And I recalled the very post I had already started to write, the post I shared above.

This experience was just another reminder that I am a work in progress — physically, mentally, spiritually — and need to continually work at being nicer to myself. And I need to listen to my own advice; I would never let a friend say the things about herself or himself that I was thinking about myself last night.

I am happy. I am healthy. And a little saggy skin and back fat takes nothing away from that.

This morning, after a reflective hour-long drive from Mr. B’s house, I am able to look at that picture and see this — and mean it:

me and mr b with a heart around our cute heads

It’s love. It’s really, really love.

I am a work in progress, but I’m getting there.

 

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Knowing Love When I See It

  1. Lorrie Warren

    I looked at that picture a couple times before I read this post-I never, not once noticed any loose skin or back fat-I only saw a wonderful loving couple and a great picture of that love!

    Like

  2. I love the last picture of you and Mr. B. and I didn’t even see the back fat until you circled it. I promise you are the only one who would see it! It’s SUCH a sweet moment and I’d love to have one just like it of my hubby and me.

    Like

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