After this weekend’s 10k with Mr. B, I’m due for another race recap. And it will come. But I just can’t write it yet.
Something else is weighing heavy on my mind and on my heart right now. Something I’ve only alluded to and probably will not write about in depth for quite some time. You see, while I’m real and don’t hold back when I write about my journey, there are people in my life who choose not to share their journeys. And I respect that.
At a certain point, I will have to write about what’s going on. Even if I write about it just for me, marking my post “private” and going on about my day. This blog has become about so much more than a place for me to share my story; it’s become my outlet and my therapy.
My little corner of the Internet has given me a place to “talk out” my issues, my hopes, my fears, my joys. It’s my place to process my thoughts and figure out the intricacies of my life. And I know that at the end of a rough day or, even, a particularly successful one, this blog will be waiting for me — a blank screen and all the letters a girl could need to write her story.
And so I write about my story, dealing with my thoughts in the process, hit “Publish” and move on with my life.
But sometimes something comes along that people don’t talk about and I can’t write about. And it becomes difficult to process it — and more difficult to focus on anything else. So I struggle. And I dwell on it, my emotional stability hanging on by a thread.
I always manage to sew it back up, getting ahold of my emotions and working to move on with the tasks at hand. Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes, like today, it requires a vague, random blog post just so I can feel as if I’m doing something about it.
Writing for me is more than a career and a hobby. It is directly related to my emotional and spiritual health. When I’m feeling writer’s block, I know something else in my life isn’t quite right. When I’m feeling emotional, I know I need to find some time and write. Even when it’s hard, I know I must write.
“If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad.” ~Lord Byron
This blog has become my safe haven, my therapy. And to a certain extent, it’s the only place I can feel completely comfortable sharing my life.
Most of this blog focuses on physical health and fitness. But there are times, like today, when I find a need to talk about my emotional health. Which is fitting because emotional, physical and mental health all go hand in hand — and all are equally important.