I’m not a competitive person — at least not when it comes to competing against other people. If I’m running a race, I’m not usually paying much attention to who’s passing me or how fast other people are going. And trying to motivate me by saying someone is faster/better/stronger than me? Forget it. The only person I want to be faster/better/stronger than is me. Being better than myself, improving myself. Those are the things that motivate me, that push me. Those are the things that keep me going, and it’s worked for me in all areas of my life: school, work, health, fitness, you name it.
I want to grow and improve. I want to know that I’m still learning and changing. I want to know that I can continue to get better. Because if we’re stagnant, what’s the point in that? Where’s the fun? That’s why I push myself so hard. That’s why I try to “master” things — so I can move on to the next thing.
Me motivating me has worked well as long as I can remember. But there is a down side. Sometimes I lose patience with myself. And I don’t give myself enough credit. And I often forget to handle myself with care.
I want to be better. Now. I want to be faster. Now. I want to be stronger. Now.
While I feel that any day I can run is a blessing not to be taken for granted, a rough runleaves me questioning myself, impatient with myself. I fall into “overthinking” mode and question everything I’m doing. And an “off week?” Gracious. Don’t even let me think about it.
I need to learn how to step back and just appreciate myself and all of the really cool things I’ve accomplished. I need to take time to breathe. I need to allow myself to be … well … human.
So, yeah, at this point in my journey, I’ve pretty much got the “take care of my body” part down. My diet and exercise is where it should be — with a few tweaks here and there, depending on the day. The part I struggle with? Being kind to myself and being patient with myself.
I guess that would be the next area I need to “master,” huh?
“Patience can’t be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it.” ~Eknath Easwaran