Since I started on this journey in the waning days of July, I’ve really learned to love my sweat sessions at the gym. I found that the treadmill (now also the elliptical or stairclimber) is the perfect place to clear my head and just have some “me” time. It’s something that isn’t a requirement or something I have to do. Rather, it’s something I’m doing for me. It’s time that belongs to me and only me. And I’m convinced that that is a major reason I’ve been able to stick with it and not throw my gym membership money down the toilet.
As my 50-pound gift to myself, I hired a trainer to kick things into gear on the strength training side of things. I knew I needed to add that component in for the best results. And I love knowing that I can go to the gym and make full use of everything it has to offer — from the cardio equipment to the weights to the core stations to the group fitness room. And I like knowing that one day I’ll have some muscles under this flabby, loose skin of mine. But there’s something else happening, too, since the addition of Trainer — and it’s something I don’t like.
I’m starting to dislike going to the gym. With constant text message reminders (aka lectures) that I’m not working hard enough and that I’m slacking off and that I need to stay strong, the gym’s become one more thing that I have to do — something that I’m doing for someone else other than myself. Yes, I know I missed my strength workouts last week — life threw one stink storm after another at me. And I beat myself up about every … single … session I missed. I still got in my cardio, but finding that additional two hours three days last week (an hour to workout and the rest of the time to stretch, drive, change, etc.) really was difficult. And having Trainer harping on me has become negative motivation and has made me really hate the idea of going to the gym.
When I know I’m doing it for me and only me, it keeps me focused and keeps me committed. Apparently (even though having someone else to be responsible to supposedly keeps you on track), having that second person involved is really hurting my efforts. I WILL keep at it, and I WILL get into a schedule. But right now, I’m starting to feel my fondness for the gym slipping away, and I need to get that back in order to really stick with it. I know this is a conversation I need to have with Trainer, but I also need to figure out how to say these things. I do enjoy my time in the gym with him, and I can feel in my body that those workouts are making a difference. But, I need to find a way to balance that with affect his “motivational style” is having on my ability to do this and stick with it. With more than 50 pounds left to go, I cannot slip now.
I’m not losing my commitment to getting healthy or losing weight. I’m just missing that “I’m-doing-this-for-me” feeling that has been such a motivator so far.
Has anyone else experienced this? Do you have any advice to offer?